RhinoVision - Week #01

Ah, another season begins....And we start with last year's championship rematch. Not a whole lot to say about this one. The Parts will makeup for pass ills and right there wrong...even though they'd much rather have had the last one.

The Rhino says...Private's Parts win by +4.

Could it be back to back losing seasons for the Elephants? Drafting my proxy is never a good or desirable thing, but all things considered, the Elephants faired well. But the simple facts are that the Invaders had a very good draft and are fielding a well balanced squad...

The Rhino says...Invaders win by +5.

Okay, enough with the ridiculously long names! Welcome to the big league PUNK-ASS ROOKIE! The Rhino sees a very long and tortured season for the Boat Captains. And even if you do pull off some miracle, don't expect your presence here to be very pleasant until late in the season. You've got an uphill battle and a marginal team, deal with it. Actually you've got a shitty team, but I'm feeling nice, warm and inviting today.
Oh, and Chairs...before you start getting all puffy and jacked up that I think you are some great wonder, forget it. Your team is marginal also, but fortunately for you GBC will battle for the Prom Queen title this season...

The Rhino says...Fighting Lounge Chairs win by +2.

THRAK enters 2002 coming off their worst season ever. The hang over from the 2001 title run was a brutal one. But it appears that they are back with a vengeance. A vengeance that could easily be cut down by a scapel on an ACL. Pinning your hopes on two ACL survivors, a rookie and a solid back on a shitty NFL team? You pay your money, you take your chances. Time will tell.
Destroyers, please pick up the white courtesy phone...The Rhino has a secret for you...A good QB and Defense can't hide a weak running game. OK, hang up now. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone, maybe they won't notice.

The Rhino says...THRAK win by +4.

Ah, the other PUNK-ASS ROOKIE. We all know the Rhino likes to kick the rookies around. But the Rhino has respect for this one. A very strong draft will prove to be the downfall of many a veteran team this season. The Goblins appear to be a viable replacement for the Eager Beavers.
The Guns they are a blazing! Is this the year they finally get it done? You've toyed with success often, but have never been able to take those tough steps at the end of the road without falling. Did last year's one point playoff loss create enough of a bitter taste in their mouths? A very solid draft has put them at the front early on, but will you live up to the hype? We know we will hear how great you are, but will you back it up? You start the season with against an upstart. No problem right? Well, I doubt anybody expected a rookie to look so formidable right out of the gate. I'll give you the nod until the rookie proves his worth, but you better hang on tight, or you'll get spooked...

The Rhino says...Young Guns win by +3.

This is one of those game I don't even want to disgust...er, discuss. Let's get the introductions out of the way: "Shitty, meet Shitty." There, can we move on?
Ok, TigerSharks maybe you aren't shitty. I just don't see greatness. Your a team I see as lowly right now, but could move up the ranks if you perform. Somebody has to fill out the lower tier, so you were the winner/loser.
SQUONK, SQUONK, SQUONK. What the hell were you thinking? You've got some decent players, but you could have done better in the draft. What are you, Stretch Armstrong?Ok, Alexander was a solid pick, but Drew Bledsoe in the second round? And there's more as you go down the line...Horn was the best available player in the third round, and Toomer and Pittman in the forth and fifth? All I can say, is THANK YOU!!! It was so kind of you to step up and fill the void left by the Rough Rider's departure. You my friend are the Rhino's new whipping boy!

The Rhino says...TigerSharks win by +3.