The Rhino Report!

Visionary of the SFFL

WEEK #5 Rewind

Millionnaire Pond Scum

55

Vs.

Eager Beavers 25

SCUM by +4

The Eager Beavers get a taught a lesson by the willey old veteran. Overall scoring was down this week, but the SCUM still managed burn the Beav's wooden damn. Another loss dumps the Beav's to 1-4 as the only team they have beaten is that powerhouse the Rough Riders (more abuse on them below) . Speaking of the Riders, that's the SCUM's test for this coming week. They may have gotten off to a slow start, but the SCUM once again appear to be one of the contenders as we approach the mid-point of the season. [Insert collective groans here kids.]

Elephants

55

Vs.

Hackers 43

Hackers by +7

The Elephants standup for themselves as the Hackers' Favre literally thew the game away with 3 interceptions. That's 6 very valuable points that could have made the difference. But NOOOOOOO! Before the season is through Favre will get his due, but at this point in the season he certainly hasn't lived up to being the overall number one pick. Which is rather unfortunate for the Hackers. Gee, lets all pause and shed a tear for a fellow owners misfortunes. (HA! HA!) With this win the Elephants pull themselves a half game ahead of the Rough Riders in the pathetic North Division. Very impressive.

Fighting Lounge Chairs

44

Vs.

Rough Riders 12

FLC by +7

Ah, vindication! See I told you last week was a fluke by the Riders. Here's the real Rider's team in action! In their defense this was obviously due to a simple coaching error as their "potential points" was 22 (snicker, snicker). You do know what this means don't you Riders? That's right go straight to the Rhino's Ranking Dungeon, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Congratulations. And although the Chairs crushed the powerful Riders and did the same to the SCUM in week #2, you are not the best team in the league at this time. You may return as early as next week, but someone else has done a lot in the past couple of weeks to greatly improve their situation.

Invaders

45

Vs.

Private's Parts 58

PARTS by +3

As predicted here last week, the Parts dump the Invaders who have proven they are not as good as they had seemed although they are better than average, better than the Parts (just not this week), and certainly better than the FLC whom they face this week. The Parts get a much needed win to keep them close as they head back to the 'hood to meet THRAK again.

THRAK

32

Vs.

Bulimic Cannibals 40

THRAK by +3

I guess this answers the question as to who sucks more. Just like their first meeting last season, boneheaded coaching kills THRAK again. Now they must face the reality that they too are just another also ran unless their running game comes out of hibernation. Unlikely because it's been lost since week #1. The Cannibals have to be happy with this as they desparately need this win to avoid getting left behind. They take their 2-3 record to visit the Hackers this week where they could slip again or help themselves while pounding a nail in the Hackers coffin.