Well, Here we are at the quarter-mark. Someone needs to hand out the
grades, and it might as well be me!!! Here we go...
Lets start with the 2 "PUNK-ASS" rookie camps (a combined 1W 7L .125%
effort to date)...
Nobody loves these guys better than their seasoned opponents who love to
pound & pummel rookie meat at every possible opportunity. But hey, my dear
rookies, what did you think was going to happen? Did you think you'd come
in and dominate the season??? I hope not. Fred Facklam once offed me his
sage wisdom gained from 30 years on the job at Moore by declaring the
following... "young man, you have to crawl before you can walk or run".
Now, I'm not sure if he was talking about the SFFL, or a personal problem
after drinking 9 Manhattan's at Greenfields, but either way, it just
doesn't matter because the wisdom is sound. Take your lumps, learn from
your mistakes (like putting your hopes of SFFL dominance in the uncapable
hands of guy's named Nick Goings) and hope for a new crop of rookies that
you can smack around next year. Hang in there. Grade: C-
Rookie Sidebar: Is it a coincidence both teams are in the North??? The
truth out there, Agent Mulder...
SQUONK 2W 2L .500%
Hmmm, these guys were talking a lot of shit after a 2 & Oh start. What
happened next? They lost by 1 point to the Parts and life hasn't been the
same ever since. Is it a matter of confidence? Or, has the resident SFFL
Cosa Nostra been too busy watching reruns of the Soprano's to figure out
what guys he should start???
It's never a good thing when your bench outscores your starters.
Fuhhhhggggeeeettttttaboutit !!!!!!! This team has the horses, but they
have to be let out of the barn to be any good!!!!!
Grade: B+
Eager Beavers 4W 0L 1.000%
Where's the beef??? It's all on the Beavers Team. After several seasons of
mediocrity, the Beavers have decided to be heard from on a large scale.The
beavers have pretty much ridden key players (Rookie Ladainian Tomlinson,
Donovan McNabb, & Correll Buckhalter) to their untarnished record. But in a
league chock full of average QB's and running back by committee, it might
not take more than than a few studs to keep fellow SFFL owners at bay.
Barring injury, there's no reason to expect less than a lot more W's from
the beaver camp this season. Note to the rest of North Conference: The bar
has been set.
Grade: A+
Rough Riders 3W 1L .750%
What can be said about about the beloved Riders???? We've all shot barbs at
the Riders before, but hey, he's always given us damn good reasons to do so
(Deon Sanders was a perfectly good example). In some aspects, the reasons
are still there (drafting unproven talent is always a good reason), but the
Riders have ammassed a respectable record to date, so we'll give them the
benefit of the doubt for now.
Grade: B (provisional - for winning at the expense of limp-wristed North
opponents). Rae Carruth is available!!!
Elephants 1W 3L .250%
Say it ain't so!!! The mighty Elephants have been humbled this season. But,
there's always room for optimism because they're in the same Conference
with two rookie teams, so there's ample opportunity to grab a few wins here
and there and right the ship. After a great run of seasons, could it be the
once formidable Elephants have entered into their "rebuilding" stage??? It
happens to every team sooner or later, salary caps, underperforming
superstars, & a low slot in the draft order can all conspire to put a mouse
under the chair of even the mightiest of elephants. There's room for some
optimism, but time is running out....
Grade: C-
Fighting Lounge Chairs 1W 3L .250%
Hmmm, is this an odd or even year for the Chairs??? Looks low tide has left
the Chairs sitting on the beach with only the seagulls left to shit on them
at will...
With hindsight being 20/20, It must be a disappointment for the Chairs
braintrust to have waisted such a high draft pick on Eric "pay your child
support" Moulds and have noting to show for it. Well, them's the breaks.
But not to worry, key acquisitions such as Antowain Smith, Chad Lewis, and
the Man from LaMancha are there to make up for this oversight (yeah,
right). Playing in the Mighty South spells zero tolernace for any weakness.
Dan Marino, where are you????
Grade C-
THRAK 2W 2L .500%
The Defending Champions have been playing through the drug & booze induced
fog that a championship celebration usually brings about. But, after 4
weeks, I think these guys have figured out nobody is going to hand them
another championship. He of the 1 QB, 4 RB, 4 WR mindset has probably
figured out all that supporting cast is no good when it's sitting on the
bench. But I'm sure the defending champs aren't going down without a fight
- are they? We'll see what tricks the champ has up his sleeve as the weeks
go by. Perhaps a declaration of "Jihad" against the rest of the league is
in the offing.
Grade: C
Invaders 2W 2L .500%
The Invaders are much like the Anthrax virus, you don't notice them very
much until they start giving you problems. By the time you notice problem,
it's too late!!!
These guys have scored a lot of points, but only have 2 wins to show for
their effort. Every year, there's a hard-luck team, could this year be the
Invaders turn??? Investing an early pick (via Chris Clark Cell Phone Proxy)
in Stephen Davis is beginning to look like a wasted move. But hey, you
never know. Rumor has it Yolanda Vega may be the starting QB in Washington
by the end of the year. But she probably has more heart than Jeff George
anyway.
Grade:B
Young Guns 2W 2L .500%
Rumor has it the Young Guns team fight song is: It's not how well you play
the game, it's how expensive your uniforms cost"... The team with the
highest payroll is rolling along at .500% so far. But don't worry, if
things don't improve, Capt. Core will no doubt open up the vault and toss
more money (and Armani suits) at his players in the hopes of getting them
to perform at a higher level. The guns have the talent, but when they play
fat, dumb, and happy... It get's you nowhere.
Grade: B $$$$$
Tigersharks 2W 2L .500%
Hmmm.... 304 points is good enough only for last place in the Southeast
Division, Beeeaaatttccchhhh!!! But in honesty, we have to give the
Tigersharks their props for hanging out with the Young Guns and resisting
the urge to throw down the big coin for major chunks of his wardrobe!!!
Having said that, I'd have to say these guys have done a good job holding
their own (and submitting lineups as late as possible). This is another
team with lots of firepower sitting on the bench and the potential to put
up big numbers every week.
Grade: B+
Private's Parts 4W 0L 1.000%
Well, after a pretty dismal 2000 campaign, this years version of the Parts
looks to be an improvement. The Parts are out of the blocks fast - thanks
to Kurt Warner, Rod Smith, and a cast of marginal supporting players. It's
a good thing the Parts are living large now, because they may need all the
help they can get playing in the Southeast. The Parts were none to happy
getting slapped by everyone last year and are here to right the wrongs from
that campaign. With Johnny Cochrane on the sidelines as "Spiritual
Advisor", there's no telling where the Parts might go. The skys the limit,
but it's a long way down as well...
Grade: B+